I went dawhn’ the Barking Shark the other night in Millvale to drink beer with my cousins and watch the Pens game. A couple of my buddies, my cousins and myself get the night started off with some drinks and chicken wings. Everyone at the table picked on me because I'm actually supposed to be a vegan. But what can I say? I’m just embracing my Pittsburgh culture for a while until I find my way again. And this particular night, it meant alcohol and 49 cent chicken wings.
My cousin Keithie introduces me to everyone in the place. I meet a guy with beard as long as my middle finger. I meet the metro bartender, who seems sort of out of place surrounded by so many yinzers. Maybe that’s why he’s the best bartender for the job. I meet some old heads, some more Millbillies, and I tell them all the amazing truth of my life. I’m a full time yoga instructor who just moved here. And I teach the hot yoga. Everyone has their reaction: “Oh my God, I can’t do that hot yoga I’m just not flexible!” is the most common one I hear. A Terrible Yogi am I indeed. I love the awe, curiosity, the reaction I get when I tell people what I do. Although I do love hopefully planting the seed of yoga in the minds of every single person I meet, I can’t deny a little ego inside me that gets a stroke, too.
The night goes on - it’s a high scoring game and the shouting and drinking follows accordingly. I can’t tell you who we played this night, but I can tell you we won. Everyone’s feeling great. Bellies full of cheap chicken, fireball an Iron City. It’s about that point in the night where I intentionally put a Bon Jovi song on.
Everyone is dancing and I have to admit, we’re workin’ it. Michael Jackson, David Bowie, and some weird country bumpkin songs I didn’t pick, but none the less at this point in the night sound equally as awesome, bring out the best moves in Millvale. I was workin' it, my cousins were workin' it, and my friends were breakin' it down. A few people stood around at the bar and watched us doing our thing. They’re just people you’d see just like us hanging out ‘dahwn at the bar n’at. Another bearded guy with a blue flannel button up shirt, jeans, a cigarette hanging out of his lip and an IC light in his hand.
Now, I’ve been practicing yoga for 8 years. For many, many years I was NOT classified as flexible. Until pretty recently, I’d never even consider doing a split in public. About two years ago I started doing half pigeon with a fellow Bikram instructor I worked with, but Bikram’s 26 wasn’t her only practice. Half pigeon turned into full pigeon. Then maybe 6 months ago I started working on splits, on the regular, at least 3 times a week.
Some days I could do it. Some days with a whacked out pelvis and some gaps under my legs I could do it. Then other days, really good days, could just get into that whacked out split without proper warming up. (Now remember I’m newly flexible. Usually I’d wait to get into pigeon until after 90 minutes of the hot 26.) But sure enough the discipline brought me to a pretty decent, well aligned split with little to no warming up. Well, the discipline and several life epiphanies and a basically vegan diet. You know. The yoga.
Back to the Barking Shark:
As a new member of the Millvale community, it was time to bust out my boldest, bravest, and most beautiful move. After all, I’m the new yoga instructor in town and I need to show them I’m in the business! So, Bon Jovi blaring and a gleam in my eye, I slowly, very carefully (probably holding onto the bar for a little extra support) made my way gently into a split.I had a moment of fame, the reaction I’d expected and been hoping for. An ooooh, ahhh, and probably a whistle.
Tenderly, I was coming out of my split pulling myself up off the floor from the bar, even being pulled up by my cousin’s arm when Blue Flannel shirt-cigarette guy steps out of the shadow and on to the dance floor and says,
“Yo girl, step aside…”
And BOOM! JUMPS INTO A SPLIT. I’m talking JUMPS, off the floor, ONTO THE GROUND (the Barking Shark floor!) into a PERFECTLY ALIGNED, forward SPLIT, in a pair of jeans, with a cigarette in his mouth and an IC LIGHT IN HIS HAND!
And just like a shark, he struck in an instant, and was gone again. Off the floor, standing tall on both feet, slouching again like he was at the bar, ashes his cigarette, flashes the peace sign and steps back into the shadowy crowd.
Before my ego could realize that it was bitten by a Barking Shark, after a few moments of complete awe, I mostly just felt...baffled. Then bewildered. And then baffled and bewildered.
8 years of yoga experience, two years with a focus on splits, a basically vegan life style, no cigarettes hanging out of my mouth. Hell, I even had leggings on that night! But what most clear of all had that night that this guy didn’t have…
…was fear. This guy had no fear of his split, what so ever. This guy was wearing jeans, smoking cigarettes, not warmed up, no support, no-nothing. This guy also was the better yogi than I, fearlessly jumping into his split with no expectation, not yearning for a reaction like I was.
Needless to say for the rest of the night there was a lot of me, starring at Split Guy with a confused look on my face and a jaw hanging open catching flies. Me, trying do a split, a little faster and faster for the rest of the night, probably acquiring a few bruises on my shins and bar grime on my clothes for sure. And me, with an all new respect, wonder, and a little less fear on the split.
Now I still don’t jump into a split. Yoga has taught me a lot, and I still have a lot to learn, about my boundaries. I know that I’m not ready to jump into a split. But now my approach is with much less fear and ego. I’ve found this approach to be much more successful than the “look at me, I’m Grandpa-ing my way in to a feeble, meek split” at this point in my practice. Getting served ‘dahn the Shark was rather refreshing. And what a good way to feel after getting served. Refreshed, enlightened, curious and determined the next day and for weeks to come.
ORIGINAL PHOTOGRAPHY by Melissa Sines.
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That was one of many good nights since you been home.
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