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Sunday, July 10, 2016

My Saturn Returns on Independence Day

Last year when I turned 27 I had the one of the best birthdays I can remember.  My brother and sister in law threw an amazing party in the back yard, and then we all slept over and stayed up all night long.  The weather was beautiful;  we laughed, sang, ate...and had a truly remarkable time.

This year was a little different.  There wasn’t a big birthday bash.  I didn’t see my twin brother or my father at all this weekend.  The weather was kind of gray and all the parties I was invited to I didn’t attend because I was just too tired.  The last four weekends have been absolutely jam packed with exciting events, so it was just time to stay home.  There were moments I felt like I should be somewhere or doing something fantastic, but now here I am, just writing a blog rather than sitting somewhere else watching fireworks this year.

I learned that I have now reached the age of my ‘Saturn Return’.  (This is the time it takes for Saturn to make a complete orbit around the sun in one’s lifetime, and it takes 27-29 years.)  I know last year I felt something big inside my soul when I turned 27.  I was completely overwhelmed with love, inspired by all that surrounded me, and very much ready to ‘start my life’.  At that point I have had quite a bit of experience with the life I was living, professionally, romantically, spiritually…I really felt grounded in a way I’d never felt.  The move back ‘home’ (to a place I’ve never lived before), the job title I carried, the new relationship I was in and the confidence I felt in it, the apartment I’d found all on my own; there certainly was a lot of evidence supporting my feeling stable.

I began teaching yoga when I was 24 and from the moment I returned from teacher training I was at it full time, and have been ever since.  It wasn’t too long after that I became ‘Assistant Director’ at Bikram Yoga West Reading.  I held happy relationships with all of the Bikram studios in Central PA and worked very, very hard.  It was even proposed to me that I purchase BYWR towards the end of my career there!  I learned so much from that experience.  I didn’t have my family at my fingertips, but I had plenty of people who cared about me and helped me to gain the knowledge needed for the purchase of a studio.  I wrote a business plan, spoke with lawyers and bankers, and did my best to be diligent and thorough when investigating all the details of studio ownership.

Although it broke my heart, the facts spoke louder than my delusion of “saving” the studio.  I was not in a financial, emotional, or mental state that was ready to purchase Bikram Yoga West Reading.  In fact, I still had a lot of work to do in all of those areas.  Soon after that, an innocent pasting of the bridge city on my vision board came true.  Rebecca Rankin contacted me and offered me the position of Studio Manager at Bikram Yoga Squirrel Hill.  (I Am Yoga.)

BYWR is currently owned by Joel Pier with an amazing staff, many of which were students with me when I first began my journey as Assistant Director for the studio.  Bikram Yoga West Reading will always be a place I consider my home, my family, and quite possibly 'the one who got away'. 

The job wasn’t a better one than what I’d already had, financially, but I knew I was in need of more than just money and a good job.  I clipped Pittsburgh onto a Vision Board I’d made with my now newest sister in law, Amy only about 6 months prior not really looking to move but just because I knew there is a lot of love there.  As much as I consider West Reading my family, Pittsburgh is where my blood is; and I really felt like I needed them to be more accessible than even just four hours away.

In just the year and a half of being in Pittsburgh I again looked at two Bikram yoga studios for purchase.  One from Rebecca Rankin and one from Zeb Homison.  Both were beautiful studios, both have tons of potential to be busy, prosperous studios, and both were what I thought to be very promising ventures.  And again, I had been working on my business plans.  I’d found potential investors, partners, and even went to Duquesne University for further education and assistance moving forward on these ventures.

I did what I did because it was the wise thing to do, this time.  Although there is something in my nature that is attracted to fixer-uppers, whether it is a business, a home, or a person, this time around I didn’t have that same sense of emotional responsibility like my pearl, Bikram Yoga West Reading.  It happened at points but for the most part all I did was gain cold hard facts about the purchase of these studios.  And even though this time around I did much more work, I knew all along, somewhere deep in my gut that the chances of me actually going through with this are slim to none.  If all the numbers check out and all the stars have aligned, sure.  I’ll take it.  But with each flaw I found I didn’t feel discouraged, but empowered.  It was okay if this “wasn’t the one”, and now I know more and more about what, for me, is.

Since then, the Bikram Yoga community has drastically changed.  Over the past year, many studios, including the studio I manage in Pittsburgh, changed their names.  Both Rebecca and Zeb, Bikram yoga champions and studio owners in Pittsburgh, made the decision to change names and offer more variety than just the 26 and 2, 90 minute classes.  Bikram’s personal life and reputation has steadily declined and lost credibility.  Rajashree and Bikram recently were divorced.  (“Like and Indian marriage…no choice!” –Bikram Choudhurry.)  Teacher Training run by Bikram seem to be further and further away from the norm of the ideal training for hot yoga (Bikram) teachers as Evolation rises in popularity and acceptance among the Bikram community.  Not to mention tuition that is less than half the costs of Bikram’s.  At some point, I’d like to write another blog about my thoughts on this change among the Bikram community but that’ll take me several more pages of blogging.  Just for readers to be aware, these changes have happened rapidly, and they are very apparent especially in my own city of Pittsburgh.  My opinion I’ll save for next time.

Although the change at first was unsettling, I have discovered my love for Vinyasa yoga through it as it made the practice readily available at my place of work.  I have been practicing Bikram yoga for 8 years and teaching full time for 4.  People ask me, “Don’t you get tired of saying the same thing every time?” The answer is “YES!”  But you know what I get even more tired of?  Doing the same thing every time!  Actually, the practice felt much more stagnant than those days of auto-pilot dialogue by far.  I know Bikramites everywhere might be gasping for a breath at this, but yes.  After all these years Bikram yoga just didn’t have that same spark.  I’d feel exhausted just thinking about going to a 90 minute class.  I’d hear my instructors saying what sounded like exactly the same thing they say every class and it would drive me insane.  The heat didn’t feel good anymore.  Thankfully, my yoga spark was rekindled when I started practicing Vinyasa.  Erin Annarella brought this flavor to I Am Yoga and since then has opened her own studio, The Yoga Folk, in Leechburg.  I am so thankful she did.  Since then I have been trained under my teachers, Bridget Hall and Veronica Milner to teach it, practice it, and love it even more. 

So, continuing throughout the year of my 27th birthday I continued to manage the studio but changed my practice.  I continued to teach but changed what I was teaching.  I continued to pay off my debts but even that approach has changed.  After one demanding and stressful day at the studio, I opened up LinkedIn just to see what else was out there.  After teacher training and working so hard in the Bikram community, gaining these titles of Assistant Director, Studio Manager, I think, wow is there anything else I can even do at this point?  Am I going to stand in the sweltering heat for the rest of my life and hope I never run out of one liners and inspiration for my students?  Am I going to have to continue these crazy months that I teach 25 days in a row, all nights, all weekends, all the time, never practicing…is this what it is?  (Because, yes, my aspiring Bikram yoga instructors, if Bikram yoga is what you want to do full time that’s exactly what you’ll be doing.)  Who would even hire me at this point?  I used to have so much “work” experience but now in my crucial years of gaining these “professional references” all I did was teach yoga!

I scrolled down the app, first typing in “yoga” and seeing what was out there.  A couple things here and there but nothing really.  Then I just changed the setting to “Pittsburgh” and scrolled down the list.  My mind started to change.  Okay, so there’s probably a couple of jobs that I could do out there…yeah, sure there are plenty of places that would hire me.  But along with that dooming sensation of being hot boxed for the rest of my life was a different kind of box…the cubical.  And I know I absolutely couldn’t do that.  I mean, I could, but I’d suck at it.  And what about how I like to disappear for a week or a long weekend here and there?  I work 25 days straight sometimes but sometimes I want 4 days off.  What about teaching back at my cherished Central PA studios?  What do I want?

Then something caught my eye.  Big Science, a recording studio in Pittsburgh was hiring.  Cool, music is cool…maybe this isn’t too soul crushing.  Click.  Harmless little click.  Hardly read the description, saw the location.  Just a click.  That quickly turned into an email that quickly turned into a new part time job, downtown Pittsburgh at Big Science Music.

Big Science was easy to manipulate into my already very busy schedule at I Am Yoga.  I explained to my new boss about who I am and what I am doing and she said, “That’s perfect!” as this is a very flexible position, which makes it unique but also hard to fill.  I was excited to take the job as the studio’s Concierge not because I’ve always wanted to be a concierge, but because my role was not as important as my other coworkers or certainly my role at the studio.  Something simple.  Something where I can wear something other than spandex.  Something where I still talk to people but I don’t necessarily have to inspire them or makes sure they don’t faint.  Something 9-5, no weekends.  That was my intention when I took the job.  I had no idea how hard I would fall in love with Big Science and the empowerment it would bring to my life.  But again, that’ll have to be another blog.
Big Science has quickly become more than just a part time job.  Here I lead Ray, Jay and Rebecca in their first Jenny Sines yoga experience for "Feel Good Friday".   How can this be just a part time job when we laugh together, eat together, and now sweat together with yoga practice and Jay's newly installed pull up bar!


I wasn’t in a bad place when I found Big Science, although stress, long hours and pressure at the studio were certainly part of it; it was simply from an honest place.  Being a yoga teacher is not just what I do but it is who I am.  I never see myself “quitting” yoga, teaching it, practicing it, all of it.  It is who I am now.  But I have learned over the past year especially, it’s time for me to change my routine. 

Last Friday, as a gift to me for my birthday, I stepped down as Studio Manager at I Am Yoga.  It took months of consideration, many a dates and pep talks with yogi friends and family, much introspection on my practice and classes, and a second job to confidently make this decision and follow through with it.  But just like my gut knew I wasn’t going to purchase these studios, I knew for a long time I wanted to see some change in my approach.  When I made the decision to listen to my gut and begin to build a life that could take me out of the role as Studio Manager, things quickly began to open up for me.  I almost immediately found this incredible, flexible, and supportive job at Big Science.  I finally have paid down enough of my debt that I don’t worry I won’t be able to make ends meet.  I invested time and money into training in new styles of yoga, and I have landed enough gigs in a little over a month to pay all of my rent and utilities alone.  I definitely have had some confidence boosters from the Universe to give me the strength to let go and begin my journey investigating new avenues of my life. 

Don't worry, students of I Am Yoga!  I will still be serving as your leader up at the Squirrel Hill studio!  You can check out my schedule by clicking here!

My vision for my future has already quickly begun its transition to reality.  I’d like to take this time to share with the world what is on the way.  I have created a yoga retreat to be held in October of 2017 in the British Virgin Islands.  After a few loose ends are finished, students will begin registration for this at the end of the summer.  I hope to see myself travel and teach with my new space and freedom established.  Already you can expect to see yoga and dance workshop, more trips back to Central PA studio circuit, virtual lessons, private lessons, performance events both privately and publicly and a place where everyone can stay in touch, www.theterribleyogi.com, my new website.

And, although I was looking to see myself less of a studio girl, the stars finally aligned and I was presented with the perfect studio option.  Ladies and gentlemen, Millvale is getting a yoga studio!  Lisa Love, owner of Salon 22 is teaming up with me and we are creating ‘Yoga 22’, using the space above the salon to hold weekly classes in Millvale.  No, you won’t see 22 classes a week and 105 degree weather at Yoga 22.  Although we do have plenty of potential to grow into something like that, for now we will be holding one or two classes a week for 4-6 week sessions.  We only will be taking a limited number of students at a time.  (So if you’d like to be on the list now is a good time to reserve your spot!)  We will be holding classes starting the September, when everyone is back to school and out of summer mode.  We will be showing the space, posture demonstrations, sign ups and information at this year’s 2016 Millvale Days celebration.  Be sure to stop by.


I am immensely grateful for all the experiences I’ve had that have led me to this point.  Bikram students all over the state, you will still get the Jenny Sines experience somewhere, in some hot room at some time.  I will never stop serving as a leader in the Bikram community, and now in many healing communities beyond just the 26 and 2.  I am very excited about the new adventures that are in store for me.  What’s even greater is I’m completely confident in all the choices that I’ve made and the things that are in the works.  Hard work, long hours, yes, for me they are a must.  But passion, discovery, and change are a must as well.  I hope that all of you will continue on this journey along with me wherever we meet and whatever path we cross together.

2 comments :

  1. Awesome Jenny!!!! Congratulations :). I'm seeing you as a writer too. Good stuff!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Awesome Jenny!!!! Congratulations :). I'm seeing you as a writer too. Good stuff!

    ReplyDelete

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